Nobody Likes Napoleon

“Oh yeah? Well the Jerk Store called. They’re running out of you.” 
– George Costanza

This week’s Jerk of History is – Napoleon Bonaparte!


Napoleon was apparently taller in real life than his legend makes him out to be, but that still doesn’t change the fact that he was a total douche. Only a legendarily dickish person would insist that his wife change her name because he didn’t like the one she was born with. Declaring yourself Emperor while your huge army stomps around half the known world is – bold, shall we say? He apparently believed himself to be God to one point. He sounds like lots of fun at parties.