Several Reasons Gamers Suck

Most of us are already guilty of at least one of the Deadly Sins of Gaming. Gamers can be dim-witted, entitled, lazy, loud-mouthed losers who let their fragile egos light up the internet in a furious spew of incoherent and unwarranted bigotry, racism, and general douchebaggery. We decided to make a list of the many reasons why gamers are, in fact, The Worst.

Here are several reasons gamers suck.

Because the ‘Console War’ is Just Ridiculous Chest Beating

Sure, companies take shots at each other all the time. Corporate rivalry is a key business strategy that keeps both companies in the forefront of consumers minds. Coke vs. Pepsi. BMW vs. Lexus. Playstation vs. Xbox. All of these are carefully crafted corporate rivalries that receive  insane amounts of publicity – yet gaming consoles seem to effect their supporters in a way that cars and beverages do not.

Rarely are message boards crowded with trolls spewing hate-speech at others over their choice in soda, yet on gaming boards it’s commonplace. These PSDweebs and Xbots routinely hijack feeds with a call to arms for like-minded users (of which there always seem to be more than a willing few) to raise virtual pitchforks against the unbelievers. This fanatical vulgarity routinely reaches a pitch that drowns out any sensible conversation and  leaves moderate, open-minded gamers scratching their heads at the loud rage spewing pseudo-gamers who feel everyone’s interactive experience must match their own. These gamers suck because they’re short-sighted, exclusionary, and just plain stupid.

The fact is, all the consoles for the last few generations have design specs that are easily found online, so there’s no excuse for ignorance regarding which machine can do what better. Games are routinely released for both consoles, with very few exclusive titles of note, so there’s no excuse for arguing otherwise. Most of the flaming you see online is pointless. The whole console war is like watching nerds argue about the best route to the number 4. Is it one plus three, or two plus two, maybe 5 minus 1? These type of gamers not only suck – they lack the basic inclusionary mindset and open-ended thinking that has made this interactive art great. Play what you want to play. Let others do the same. Get on with your life.

 

xbox vs playstation
image from imgur by Heliumtinox

Medal Call of Battlefield Honor Duty

Stop buying the same garbage and pretending its new.

The Matrix introduced us to “bullet time” and we all thought it was cool, so Hollywood spent the next decade spoon feeding audiences the same special effect on every possible scenario, regurgitated and repackaged for the next dollar. Now, bullet time is a dated, eye roll inducing gimmick. 3D movies dominated the box office for a few solid summers before we realized that we were paying extra for a less than worth it experience, and 3D failed to become the new normal. Smart consumers will eventually stop paying to see the same shit over and over, and new ideas will come to the surface when marketers want that money back. Necessity is the mother of invention, and without that demand for something new, change won’t happen.

Gamers have proven they will buy the same product over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. This is how the community ends up with a host of corridor and rail shooters all touting “ripped from the headlines visceral action” – and yet most of these titles vary little in presentation or game mechanics. Very few games can be considered ‘prime’. Most gamers have such an undeveloped video game palate they can’t (or simply won’t) distinguish  between innovative design and re-packaged trash. As long as these tunnel-visioned gamers continue to fund effortless development, the industry will continue to reward themselves for a job half-assed done. Gamers suck because they will pay top dollar for bottom barrel, like a PBR-drinking hipster.

xbox vs playstation
image from imgur by NitroxKnight

Shut Up And Take My Money

Speaking of shelling out cash for virtually nothing – a vast majority of gamers appear to have a chronic case of money blindness. They are  artistically devaluing the industry en masse, while simultaneously acquiring needless debt. Developers now have so many thirsty gamers on their lines that they have systematically, year-after-year, charged gamers more money for less original content. (In full disclosure – I have a very shaky relationship with paid DLC, and to me it’s a very complicated issue that has no clear borders. I understand DLC can be a great way to keep a game evolving, and a source of revenue to aid future development, but more and more gamers are rolling over in regards to quality and type of DLC, and purchasing packs that should have been included with the game to begin with. Mass Effect 3s ‘extended’ or ‘true’ ending should not have been DLC. Nor should gamers be suckered into paying for exclusive access to a 1st level weapons that is useless beyond the tutorial).

There is room for DLC. As an industry friend said about the game he developed (in which a $5 DLC pack would unlock all the game’s gear and levels), “Many people don’t have the time to build the character they want to play with their friends – the DLC is an alternative”. As a busy gamer I can see where he’s coming from, but I still remain weary of pay-to-win games where the best equipment is only available as a costly add-on. This is an issue gamers shouldn’t have to face (particularly if a game is based on balanced and fair PvP matches). Unfortunately, most gamers are just too numb to reality, and their minds can’t conceive the notion that they are supporting an industry that doesn’t have to charge them for this shit, but they will if gamers keep throwing money at them for it.

Hell, gamers even continue to pay the same price they paid for a physical disc game, which had to be manufactured and packaged and delivered, as they pay for digitally downloaded games that have no delivery, packaging, or manufacturing cost any more. That’s right – the profits for producers went way up when the way we played games changed, but gamers will never see any savings as a result, because they’re happy just handing over their money without demanding more from the industry that they fund. Gamers, you did it to yourselves. Vote with your wallet and your voice – stop buying the bait and demand your full game, since you’ve paid full price.

modern DLC for games cheats gamers

The Taken-ing

Buying crappy DLC or using real money to acquire game currency is one horrible example of gamers total lack of money savvy, but perhaps the more frightening trend is their willingness to accept patches that paired-down or nerfed the existing experience. Yep, gamers are just fine with someone taking away parts of a game they already paid for – and they’ll pay even more to get those parts back.

It didn’t take long for Year One players of Destiny to realize they had effectively been robbed by the very company they supported since the launch of their next-gen title. These gamers were already used to the weekly nerfing of their efforts as the developers continuously meddled with stats and functions. Yet nothing seemed to prepare Destiny players for the arrival of a long awaited DLC “The Taken King”, in which the developer claimed to have added a ‘vast improvement’ to the game experience for those that purchased it. Bungie gave no warning that it would outright destroy the game for those who chose to skip the upgrade. Previously bought DLC, paid for and downloaded onto gamers consoles, was heavily modified. All told, following the DLC’s release, any gamers who had been loyal from launch but skipped the Taken King found themselves with a version of the game valued at about $65 after having paid almost 2.5x that amount on DLC over the previous year.

What did gamers do? What they alway do. They sucked. They rolled over, blamed those gamers that didn’t upgrade, and applauded the company who had robbed them of content. A moment the industry now uses as a watershed – the day they realized they could take away their customer’s product and sell it back to them, without consequence.

Command and Condemn

Gamers demand game companies rush development, then get mad at products that fall short of their expectations or are inevitably delayed.

Demanding too much then complaining when companies fail to deliver is just shitty behaviour. We all want the newest and best thing right now but making something of quality requires time and focus, and even then you’re not guaranteed to get it perfectly correct. The reality is, in most game production cycles, how a game will actually play is not something that is known by the developer right away. Just as the look and feel of a game evolves through development, so do the play mechanics and in-game interactions. This means that gamers who beg and plead for a preview of a game several years in advance are not likely to see something that is entirely indicative of the future release, for better or for worse. Gamers routinely fail to remember or just straight up ignore this point, and continue to whine about their expectations based of a tidbit of potential gameplay knowledge even the developers haven’t fully committed themselves to. No Man’s Sky still remains plagued with false rumours about thee nature of the game’s multiplayer – despite very clear announcements from Hello Games.

Refresh, Rehash, Repeat

The power and danger of the often referred to “24 hour News Cycle” doesn’t hold a candle to the fire spout of cyclical reporting the gamer newsnets offer. Thousands and thousands of self-hosted and online stream sites are full of game videos, reviews, reports, and rantings numbering in the hundreds of millions. Gamers are so thirsty for news on a game, and the desire to dissimilate that news to others half-assedly, that most developers now only have to release a modicum of information before it is devoured and repeated ad nasuem. Most gamer’s thirst for this information is so deep they’re easily drawn into a mirage of gossip and hearsay. Thanks to the low entry bar for gamers to get their voices heard, any wannabe know-it-all gamer can misinform to the count of hundreds of thousands of hits. When the game releases: the dimmest controller jockies will blame the game creators for not including the rumoured content of some ranting ignoramus. At the risk of rehashing myself, I’ll say it again: even during the console wars, the reporting on the individuals console’s supposed power was chronically debated despite the exact console specs being published by the respective developers in full. How willfully obtuse can gamers be?

xbox vs playstation
image from imgur by wooptoo

Because Gamergate Shmamergate

Gamergate is real and apparently that doesn’t matter.

Statistically, if you’re a gamer, you saw the heading of this section and were tempted to scroll on by,  and to some extent it would be hard to blame you. This topic is guilty of our above point ‘Refresh, Rehash, Repeat’. My hypocrisy is not lost on me. It’s just that most gamers are now so tired of hearing about Gamergate they skip over any mention of it, just wanting it to go away. I understand.

But heres the thing – the very serious issues surrounding Gamergate are very real, Gamergate doesn’t appear to be resolving itself, and at some point, gamers are going to have to deal with it. It seems to actually be getting worse. Gamers suck for not putting a bow on this whole fucking thing a long time ago. I know from direct experience how this affects individuals and developers. None of us are immune from this and as a community – one of the reasons gamers suck is for letting this get swept under the rug. To this day, most female gamers feel they must remain private simply to avoid a near-steady stream of unwanted harassment. Gamers that harass, intimidate, threaten, or destroy someone else’s gaming experience suck because they haven’t figured out that if they don’t change, the community will change without them. Mainstream titles may become more exclusive, but if they continue to fail in producing games for a rising market of equality-minded gamers, eventually someone else will arise to meet this market segment’s needs. That’ll leave the knuckle-dragging gamers to eat crow – and the new start-ups will find themselves with a loyal fan base of the previously disenfranchised. Market corrections can be wonderful things. Another reason to vote with your wallet, gamers.

xbox vs playstation
image from imgur by sexyspazz

Shooting the Messangers (metaphorically)

Gamers suck because they act like over entitled, attention deficient addicts – at least that what it seems like in most comment sections of gamer related articles (maybe even this one). Gamers have a way of absolutely losing their shit online when it comes to bad news, and destroying anyone who delivers that news. Bloggers and journalists have been doxxed for reporting on sensitive gaming issues. Yep, issues surrounding GAMES – instruments to help you pass the time in a joyful and stimulating way – cause gamers to exhibit an outright dangerous form of stupidity that can only be the direct descendent of a torch-weilding mob. Death threats, bomb threats, threats of sexual violence, threats against individuals families & pets, SWATting… this is something gamers do now. This is why gamers can’t have nice things.

Shooting Each other (literally)

Metaphorically is one thing – but literally gamers are shooting each other now. Or stabbing each other, stabbing seems popular too. Whether it’s for a console at the holidays, a copy of a new release, or just insulting or defeating a gamer’s online avatar, sucky gamers are actually bringing the real-world violence to each other. This is a so-real-it’s-sad example of the general shittiness of gamers today, and frankly this amount of suck ought to dominate the list. Killing anything over a video game is about as low-rent human as you can get. Any individual who even thinks this idea holds an iota of merit is doomed to suck for the rest of their lives. But perhaps I should remove them from this list, because people who shoot people over video games are not gamers. They are sad, disturbed, garbage people, and they should be in jail.

Face it, gamers can really suck. Some way more than others. As the games grow more intelligent it would appear as though the audience is going in the opposite direction. There remain pockets of sensible-minded gamers peppered into the community, but this silent minority is under constant high-decibel assault by cyber-bullies and trolls. If there is one thing a gamer knows it’s that encountering enemies means you’re on the right path. Gamers adapt, overcome, and achieve. Gamers play games, not the other way around.

 

xbox vs playstation
image from imgur by TedBelmont

The comment section below is open. Go nuts.

Comments

comments